Smiling faces

 June 20, 2025

Back in the days when I was driving my Reliant K car with its AM only radio, I used to hear this song pretty frequently on the oldies station.

"Smiling Faces Sometimes" by the Undisputed Truth.

Smiling faces sometimes

Pretend to be your friend

Smiling faces show no traces

Of the evil that lurks within (can you dig it?)

Smiling faces, smiling faces, sometimes

They don't tell the truth

Smiling faces, smiling faces tell lies and I got proof

Oh, oh, yeah ....

I didn't care for the lyrics at the time because they went against what was at that time my youthful belief that people are all trustworthy and good and to be distrustful of others was a character flaw of some sort. Couldn't deny the jam of the song though, great song. now as an adult I think differently about this song. 

I still, despite 45 years of experience to the contrary, do not carry that level of mistrust.  I very seldom see a person smile at me and think anything but another smile is behind it. (And this my friends is I am sure an example of white privilege I've never much contemplated.)To me this song will always remain linked to 70's ideas of Black Power. It makes me think of the way that people of color are necessarily living in a state of hyper vigilance here in the US. At any moment that face that smiles at them could indeed hold them back, or  assault, detain, arrest them or shoot them for birdwatching in the park. This level of distrust in others, particularly white people is entirely needed if you wish to stay safe and unharmed. We are the most dangerous animal indeed.

And thinking about this song the other day I realized I do something entirely unconsciously. I smile at black women. All the time, walking through the mall, passing by them on the street, in hallways, elevators, and restaurants. I always smile at black women. (I don't smile at black men as frequently, but that is a gender thing. I really only smile at old men regardless of color.) Invariably they smile back. These are the two things I question now that I have realized it. 

1. What is the perception of the woman I am smiling at?

 Does she subconsciously tip a smile back at me also without thinking because that is what one does. Does she smile back because she has been conditioned not to piss off the Karens of the world? Does she think "why is this weirdo stranger smiling at me", or does she think, "I wonder what she wants." Does this smile register as something less than friendly? I wonder.

2. Why the hell do I always grin at black women?

As I say the gesture has been heretofore completely unconscious.  Hell me noticing I do it took 57 years so how do I answer the question why? I think it is because I have seen so goddamn many aggressions and micro aggressions perpetrated against people of color that some part of me wants to A. Signal I'm going to try to be a decent human despite being raised white, so please don't fret. B. Show kindness to a woman that I know has faced unkindness. Because I don't think you can be a p.o.c. in America without having faced nasty White Perpetrated Shit-nanegans. 

And so I wonder, am I being essentialist, making assumptions. Is it paternalistic that I have this automatic smile? Is the fact that I clock black women as BLACK women instead of just a woman some kind of racism? 

I don't have any answers for any of these questions. I really don't. But I am going to continue smiling at black women when I meet their eyes. Why because the world needs more smiles? Regardless of why they are happening. We all live in a world that is too unkind, so I'm going keep smiling.