5 freakin am

 June 24, 2025

One of the bizarre things that sometimes occurs during Summer break just happened. Monica gets up for work somewhere between 4:30 and 5:15 most days. She doesn't set an alarm usually it just happens for her. Jesus, what that must be like!  I however am on hyper summer manic brain mode and because of this have just spent the past 6 hours alternating between staring at the ceiling, forcing my eyes to stay closed, and saying fuck it getting up and scrolling,  then saying fuck again, laying down and repeating the whole process until either something sticks, my body collapses or I just get up for realsies. Now here at 5 A.m. am fully awake to wander aimlessly around the kitchen and get it Monica's way while she tries to stumble to a cup of coffee. I did however get the advantage of making us a nice bacon and egg breakfast, which is something I haven't done in many months. The dogs were in complete leaping doggie bliss to have TWO   WHOLE HUMANS to beg from. It was a festival of sad eye and meefy whines I'll tell you. Plates were licked, tails were wagged, they must think it's some sort of holiday. 

I wouldn't mind this insomnia except it interferes with interacting with other non-moon howling humans. And because I rather like my human companions sans lycanthropy, generally speaking, this is annoying. This reverse circadian rhythm  will be take me days of falling asleep mid activity, or suddenly in public, or far worse losing the ability to speak coherently, making me as interesting a lunch companion as the average vole. (adorable little creatures it's true but neither of us will be good to have at a garden party.)   Eventually to save social face I will be drugging myself with tylenol pm and forcing myself to get up to an alarm clock several days in a row to get the schedule whacked back into shape. Only to have it go back pear shaped in probably less than 3 days. 

I've really never been a good day person. All through my 20's and well a huge chunk of my 30's...some of my 40's and every single vacation day of my 50's, I have veered toward the nocturnal. For many many years I only took night jobs and afternoon classes if at all possible. Because I knew I was like this. It amazes Monica who is although not actually awake in the morning, at least is mostly ambulatory after her first cuppa. And she manages to sleep  AT NIGHT?!? How does she do that? It's crazy. We can get up at the same time in the morning, but I will invariably be awake far later than she. She also is the kind of horrible human who puts her head down on a pillow and FALLS ASLEEP. And I don't mean after an hour or two, I mean pretty close to within 10 minutes. It makes me want to sneak in there and suffocate her with the extra pillow. The only thing that prevents me from this is knowing that at 3 am she will have to get up to pee and then is likely to struggle a bit to get back to sleep. 

Well anyway here I am, at now 6 a.m. still awake, and now irritated. Maybe I should plan something important for later today so I can fall asleep in the middle of it.